When I’m an old lady, I’ll do what I want
And no one will tell me I can’t!
I’ll laugh when I want and cry when I want;
I’ll throw temper tantrums and rant…
When I’m an old lady, I’ll stay up real late
Writing memoirs of all I have done.
I’ll write of my travels, romances and scandals;
Of lovers and fighters and fun.
I’ll swim in the ocean; I’ll play in the dirt.
I’ll cuss like a sailor and shamelessly flirt.
I’ll cook lots of stuff just like my Memaw taught me,
And hang pics on the fridge that my grandchildren brought me.
I’ll drive like a maniac; claim magic powers.
I’ll grow lots of flowers from those April showers!
I’ll bake special brownies; I’ll fall off the wagon.
I’ll teach my grandkids about hobbits and dragons.
I’ll wear fancy shoes, silly hats, crazy clothes!
Challenge other old ladies to snowball fights in the snow!
I’ll demand senior discounts wherever I go…
And oh, the places I will go…
I’ll go to the movies and laugh right out loud.
I’ll meander around with the flea market crowd.
I’ll ride rollercoasters – won’t my kids be proud?
(They’ll be secretly proud if they’re not proud out loud…)
When I’m an old lady, I hope I can say
That I did what I wanted to do
But also I was kind (and was in my right mind)
And was loving and loyal and true
When I’m an old lady I’ll be me — only…old!
They won’t want to put me in jail!
So I’ll do what I want and I’ll say what I want
When I want, and have savings for bail.
(Just in case.)