“Extra” State-Employee Holidays: Observed Only By The Deserving

Commonwealth of Virginia
2012 STATE EMPLOYEE HOLIDAYS

January 2 – New Year’s Day (Observed)
January 13 – Lee-Jackson Day
January 16 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
February 20 – George Washington Day
May 28 – Memorial Day
July 4 – Independence Day
September 3 – Labor Day
October 8 – Columbus Day
November 12 – Veterans Day (Observed)
November 21 – Close at Noon
November 22 – Thanksgiving
November 23 – Day After Thanksgiving
December 24 – Offices Closed
December 25 – Christmas

One of the first things my big sister said when I started working in the semi-private sector was, “Guess there’s no Columbus Day party at your house this year, huh?”  Smarmy?  Yeah.  Pretty damned smarmy coming from a woman who works for a Fortune 500 company that demonstrates its trust/appreciaton of her considerable skills and abilities by allowing her to work from home whenever she has a notion, and never failing to provide annual raises/bonuses/incentives — whereas I, as a longtime State employee, did a lot more work for a lot less money, for a lot longer time, in a lot more dangerous and less aesthetically-pleasing environment without ever receiving (or having hope of receiving) a raise.  Yet I was paid to be off on Columbus Day and she wasn’t.  It was the only point I could win.  The truth is I never actually had a Columbus Day party, since most everybody else I knew had to work that day.  But I announced my intention to have one every year; I put the invitation out there to celebrate with my friends and loved ones – to spend a few moments in silent reflection of the wonderment of getting a paid day off to drink to the first European’s accidentally stumbling upon the other half of the world and introducing its native inhabitants to tyranny, murder and enslavement in the name of the Catholic Church.  The point is, I didn’t just sleep in and watch Springer (or the hundreds of Springer-derivatives that dominate daytime TV.  Holiday observed.

Additional holidays were observed in a similar manner – with me offering to host a party in celebration of having an “extra” day off.  I typically spent “Lee-Jackson-King” Day marveling at the irony, until the Commonwealth broke King off a new one in 2000 – after which time I spent Lee-Jackson day wondering if this would finally be the year that the South would rise (again), and MLK, Jr. day being thankful that didn’t happen (again).  Holidays observed.

When I was a State employee, I had regular workdays off (with pay!) to ponder important holiday mysteries such as “Why isn’t Mother’s day on a Monday?”, “I can’t wait til they come up with some more Monday holidays!” and “What’s next – Hitler’s birthday?! (and is that on a Monday?)”  Working in the semi-private sector, I no longer have leisure time to reflect upon such matters.  Instead, I use time that I should be spend doing something productive to reminisce about the extra time-off days of old, being jealous of friends, and loved ones, and former coworkers, and current State employees in general — whom I suspect do not spend their extra paid holidays celebrating anything except not having to go into that hell hole today.  I feel you, brothers and sisters … even if I am forced to feel you on Saturday, ‘cause I don’t get any extra paid holidays.  Ah, extra paid holidays — how I miss you!  I know I have to accept that you are no longer a part of my life and find a way to move on, and I will — I mean, I have!  Except for, like, six days a year, when you are always on my mind…

I personally think State (particularly educational and corrections) employees should use their extra paid days off to UNIONIZE, but that is the subject of another blog which is tentatively titled, “Somebody Should Burn That Brand-New $105 Million Dollar Prison To The Ground And Collect The Insurance Money To Pay Our Teachers And Public Safety Professionals Decent Wages.”

No, this blog is about holidays, and how I am apparently no longer deserving of observing the “extras.”  Therefore, in conclusion, it is with much regret that I must inform you that just as there was no Lee-Jackson party at my house today, there will be also be no Martin Luther King, Jr. party at my house on Monday.  And no George Washington Party.  Or Columbus Day Party (you got it, Sister!)  Or Whatever-The-F*ck-November-21st Is Party in the future.  Govern yourselves accordingly.

P.S.  LOL @

November 21st, which they didn’t even bother trying to legitimize;

November 23rd, or “Day After Thanksgiving,” which was chosen only after “Black Friday” was rejected for appearing too materialistic and “F*ck You, I’m Calling In Sick And Eating Some More Pie Day” was rejected for being to close to the truth; and

December 24th, or “Offices Closed,” which is inexplicably not acknowledged to be “Christmas Eve.”

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