November 4, 2011 at 10:38 pm – Edit
Lol. Okay, here goes. My boyfriend is obsessed with video games! That’s all he wants to do is play video games with his brothers, friends, or alone. I don’t get it. He is 36 years old! I love him, but if he doesn’t grow up, it’s not going to work. It’s driving me crazy. 10:30 on a Friday night, guess what he’s doing right now?!?! I need advice!
This was a hard one for me, because how do you say your name? Is it son-Jah? Son-yah? Does the “j” serve as a “y”? Why? Why don’t parents consider that before giving their kid a name that will be misspelled by everyone it comes into contact with its entire life? How many times have you had to say, “actually, it’s ‘J-A’.”? Maybe your boyfriend is tormented by similar ponderings, and he’s trying to distract himself with video games.
But, seriously, this is not an uncommon dilemma. Thank you for writing me. With all due respect, however, you should have waited until sometime today, after recovering from all the fun you had last night while your boyfriend was at home playing video games.
The only way to determine if your boyfriend’s “obsession” is pathological, is to get your sexiest outfit (or..not) on and step between him and whatever he’s shooting/fighting/driving/playing on the big screen and suggest he pay you some damn attention. If that doesn’t work, you’re right, it’s not going to work, and you are going to have to make some difficult decisions/consider your alternatives — one of which may be joining him. Video games are pretty awesome nowadays. Have you seen the new PS3 commercial? Might make you see your man in a whole new light. I will post a link for you. Play this for him right before you suggest he pay you some attention, and if that doesn’t work, get the hell out of there, ’cause his paying-attention-to-women/you days are done.
Don’t do this unless you’re ready to know for sure.
Meanwhile, I suggest sharing your concerns during the next power outage, which you will have to engineer yourself. You must also cultivate/pursue your own interests – what does Sonja like to do? Go do it! And if you happen to meet someone with whom you are more compatible while you are doing it, so be it. You are not married to this man.
All that being said, if he’s not doing it for you, whatever “it” is, Sonja; and your best efforts fail to convince him that there are things he must do in order for you to remain his partner, do yourself and womankind a favor and leave him before you go pursuing your own interests and happen to meet someone – particularly if your own interests in any way resemble “whoring,” since that is one thing even the most distracted gamer will zero in on as the true reason it didn’t work, regardless of the actual reasons and regardless of the fact that you have stated them ad nauseum/ad infinitum.
Yours in the pursuit of fulfillment,