Diagnostic criteria for 000.00 EMOFUSION Disorder
A pattern of negativistic and self-pitying behavior at the onset of puberty, characterized by extreme delusions of being misunderstood and repressed, lasting until a reality check is encountered, during which all eight (and more) of the following are present:
- Often from a comfortable, middle-class background, with ordinary parents.
- Often insists that their lives in a quiet subdivision, in a bedroom equipped with their own computer and entertainment center is not only the worst life they could possibly have, but the worst life anyone has had, ever.
- Often writes poetry or “lyrics” about how painful his/her life is.
- Often references their “countdown ‘til 18” clock on Facebook.
- Often takes/posts pictures from ridiculous and unnecessary angles.
- Often speaks in a low, depressed monotone.
- Often goes on hunger strikes when he/she does not get the latest “Evanescence” or “My Chemical Romance” cd the day it is released.
- Often hangs out in the mall around Hot Topic, since that is the only place that “understands” them.
Note: Consider a criterion met only if the behavior occurs by a person wearing black clothing and copious amounts of black eyeliner, with a dyed-black, typically one-eyed haircut. Otherwise, see 313.81 Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or 111.11 Spoiled Rotten Brat.